3.7 [Chieftain] Ngamahu Flame Abyss Cyclone - build idea not a guide

Looking for some advice on how to adjust this build idea

Preface: Ive only been playing for three leagues, so im still new and this is my first build idea.

So... kind of was playing around with the idea of doing an abyss jewel build based around the Bubonic Trail, Tombfist, Lightpoacher/Hale Negator, and Shroud of the Lightless. I really enjoy the Cyclone playstyle, and with the chest having elemental penetration, i figure what the heck lets try it. I googled all day at work and wasnt able to find anything even close to this idea... and it could be completely terrible. My first pass on PoB and im sitting around 400k dps, with almost 6k life. Okay not completely terrible.. but still needs work.

Few things to note:

1: This is just an idea for now and a work in progress, it is NOT done
2: I did not bother crafting all the gear on PoB to get completely optimized rolls and everything, just threw it in there to look at. Im going to level the character and work on it.
3: I'm a Hardcore player, so pure OMGWTFBBQ Damage numbers isnt as important as living to me. That been said... id like to kill things before i die from exhaustion

Without any further waiting, here is the PoB:
https://pastebin.com/JT2wXGu3

I'm interested to see what people think :D let me know your thoughts and if theres anything that jumps out at you to improve (aside from "abandon this idea its trash")