i hate this

"

wierdzodi wrote:

"

aggromagnet wrote:

I really hope you're like Elementary or mayyybe Jr High age or something. If not, this is just baffling lol.

Not really, addiction problems can easily persist throughout a persons life if nothing is done to take care of the root cause, in fact most adult humans suffer from addictions & anxiety issues in varying degrees due to never paying attention/observing the root cause within themselves. They then think ''medicine'' will fix them, how naive.

I don't know dude, what he actually says about the situation and what happened sounds pretty juvenile. Especially the big brother and crying part heh. That's fine though, if that's the case. Teens and pre-teens tend to be all kinds of screwed up in their own ways.

Either way though, there definitely seem to be bigger issues to work out than access to PoE.

back when i was hooked on COD i only was able to quit when i took my xbox out back and shot it up with a .22

"

jimmyneutron1997 wrote:

i just realised i wasnt accurate enough when making this thread. first of all there was some sort of a leak within my walls 5 years ago which caused my plugs to malfunction (idk why i didnt convince my dad to to repair them like right when the malfunction happened) and, as to regarding why i rage quit, the phone rang right when i needed to fully focus on a game called 'smite' and due to me saying someone else should pick it up i was criticized by my big brother which made me rage quit and cry. idk why i cried form something like that and to make matters worse there is this damned tv near me (my pc was in the living room) which is usually a bit too loud.

I don't think I've logged onto the forums since April... But, I read your post and decided to respond, hopefully offering something of use to you. :)

This is a very long post. Why? I hope to address as much as possible in one post rather than incremental posts or worrying about catching up on replies, etc. Plus, someone else might benefit from something in this post just in case I actually wrote something... helpful. :) (And, because one can't easily address complex situations with simple instruction. ;)

TLDR: This is a situation that will be overcome. There is no doubt at all about that. It will just take the right tools and conditions to make overcoming it very easy. The more tools, the better the conditions, the easier the whole process will be.


Note - You'll get a lot of free advice and not just a little bit of what seems like "lecturing." A lot of it is also going to be worth exactly what you paid for it... I'll try to post something of value, but you may need to think on it for awhile before that value becomes apparent. It is not easy to think clearly and rationally when one is immediately reminded of anxiety and frustration. It's also not easy to be rational when one is a young person... I don't mean that as an insult. It's just that a younger person's brain, their biochemistry, and their experiences are not much at all like an "adult's." It ain't easy being a young person. :) There is nothing wrong with you. You are very likely experiencing something that everyone experiences. You're just experiencing it a bit differently right now. As you may have heard, "this too will change." For now, though, it should be addressed. :)

First - It's very likely everyone in your immediate family loves you. Humans are more-or-less hardwired for this, so it's a safe assumption that no matter how you may feel or think they feel, they love you. At the very least, they care about you as long as you don't pee on the rug... So, in that light, approaching one's immediate family for help and support is usually a "Good Idea." Doing so in a non-confrontational, honest, sincere manner is not easy, though. I know that and I'm sure you do to. However, that does not mean you can't do exactly that. Keep in mind, though, that if others do think you have an issue immediately related to some sort of addictive behavior, you need to learn how to judge such responses and that's not easy as a young person who simply doesn't have a lot of experience doing that. Try. Even if they're completely wrong, they're still likely trying to sincerely help you. That, in itself, needs to be seen by you as a comfort. It's a "positive thing." It may be advancing in the wrong direction, as far as you're concerned, but at least it's advancing. :)

I hope you do see this or get notified so you can review your earlier posts while you are in a different frame of mind. This is something that is a learned behavior. Being able to reflect on one's own thoughts, particularly how they may have been effected by other circumstances, is a key human behavior. "Introspection" is one of those things separates us from ground-squirrels and beetles... By re-reading your old posts here, you may discover exactly what might have been truly your particular problem at the time you wrote those. Distance sometimes brings clarity.

The concepts and attitudes above are high-order stuffs to think about when you're younger. And, I do apologize for how it may seem if I say you are a "young person." That is not meant to be derogatory. It is, however, necessary IMO so that you understand we have all "been there." I was young, you're young now, others that have responded have likely passed through that era in their lives as well. Some have scars, many don't, and some may not have progressed much further than bottle-feeding and pooping all over themselves... But, the point is that you, as a young person, are different in many ways more than just "physical" from an adult. This is certainly not something you should worry about at all, though. It just means that what might "work" for an adult often doesn't have as much a significant an impact on young persons or even young adults.

Online relationships, social groups, associations and the like with other people are not the same as those "in real life." That poses a very difficult problem for you as a young person. There are few non-verbal ques, very nearly none, little personal interactions in "real space," very little in the way of any sort of "permanence" in relationships for the long term, etc.. That doesn't mean these interactions can't be valuable, but they are much "less" than similar sorts of interactions in real life. For example - If you get into an argument with someone online, you can just "quit." Turn off the game, console, whatever and go get a sandwich. You can even just divorce yourself from associating with them forever. Easy, right? But, if it was your neighbor who you grew up with and have seen almost every day for a decade... Well, fixing that interpersonal issue becomes a bit more involving than just turning off an XBox. That "skill" that is usually developed when we are younger is often very much ignored or, in some cases, inaccessible to many young people.

It's not a treatise or a rant, it's pointing out that I acknowledge that your life experiences so far are likely not as similar to my own at that age as one may expect.

Time for some things you could do to help, right? Right..

First, get sleep. It's important. Your brain is working harder than mine right this very moment. Mine is an old, calcified, decaying lump of flesh. Yours is growing and evolving at an astounding rate! It will continue to do so quite dramatically until you're in your early twenties or so. It's critical it gets what it needs and that includes "sleep." Get sleep and develop a very solid, reliable, sleep schedule no matter how many guild activities or game playing you've got going on.

Anxiety - You have a problem. And, guess what? Most people your age have the same problem. "It's part of growing up." You've heard that, before. What you may have not heard too much is that the reason you may be experiencing anxiety surrounding these issues is because you have not yet had enough experience developing coping mechanisms and have not yet learned to see many of these sorts of things as "mundane." I'm sure you may feel that some older people may see these issues as unimportant, while you feel they're very important. To you, right now, they're important. Later, as an adult, you will most certainly see them as unimportant. But, we're dealing with you, right now, right? Right. :)

You should try to dedicate some time to an activity that involves "real world" stuff. Like has been mentioned, developing another hobby would be very helpful. I would encourage you to start by doing something similar to what you like, now. For instance, gaming is more than just computer games. There are some great board games out there. But, of course, that requires others to play. (Usually) If you're lacking in friends who like such things, then you may need to try something else. Miniatures, model building, drawing/painting, etc is cool stuffs, too. And, these are things you can "share" with people online, if you value such things. (Though, I would hesitate to recommend more online engagement, the fact is that may be all that you have right now. You may have to work towards divorcing yourself a bit from online social groups in favor of "real life.")

Determine some goals for yourself that you can reach. I don't care what they are as long as they're not self-destructive and don't involve getting level 100 in PoE. :) ANY goal that you can attain, and choose only the ones that are easily possible, will do something for you that you seriously lack right now - Give yourself a sense of "control." Young people these days, infused in "online life" have even less ability to control their environment and interactions than ever before. Young persons instinctively seek out ways to control an often confusing world and that's not easy to do "online." For instance, you being at the mercy of your online guild is an example of something that would not likely happen "in real life." If you were in a group of people sitting around a table playing D&D every day, would the situation have developed that would threaten your removal from this group of people you've been playing that game with for so long? Doubtful.

Find a goal you want to attain and that is practically attainable. Start with taking out the garbage. I'm not joking - It's as simple as that. Get a goal, any goal, attain it and then value and appreciate the fact that you attained it. Gradually, you'll start to realize that you have much more control over things in your life, even as a young person, than you may think you do.

Mindfulness - One poster mentioned that and I think it's a good thing for you to practice when you are confronted by anxiety and feel emotionally distraught. It works. It works very well for those who are truly suffering from clinically diagnosed anxiety issues. And, it can work for you. (I don't agree with "meditation" or anything else other than some "mindfulness exercises" to help reduce acute moments anxiety and stress. Meditation is not a practice I think will help a young person. Some adults do find it helpful, but those are adult brains that are just... different.)

Take a look at this. Work through the exercises.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wsy2L9VvX90

In case you think it's "kid's stuff" these same sorts of exercises are used by modern Military Special Forces... I joke not - Look up the "Four Seconds" exercise. (Breathing exercises tell your body and your brain to calm the F down. :) They are extremely helpful and can be done very easily, anywhere, anytime. I would suggest that for the "Counting" exercise, you only ever count to "1." Just "One" for each breath. "Feel" your inner self, your inner state of previous turmoil, slowly fading away. It'll happen.)

Another exercise you can do anywhere, anytime, and without anyone ever knowing you're doing it is about your "senses." Focusing on what you see around you, it's physicality and appearance and not necessarily "what it means", your hearing and all the things you can hear, the pressure on your feet/body in the position you are currently in, the air moving around you, what you can smell... ALL of these things allow you to firmly place yourself "in time and place." Anything outside of that, like anxious thoughts, stressful social situations, racing thoughts and the like, will slowly, eventually, get replaced by the realization that you are in "time and place" and these things are emotional and mental constructs you can deal with in their own, appropriate, way. It works. It works extremely well to quickly get control and to allow you to approach situations in more productive ways.

Using the above, you should then take some time to think about some of what I wrote concerning developing hobbies, getting a good sleep schedule going, maybe even thinking of some simple goals. I'm not joking that even looking down and re-tying your own shoelaces is an outstanding, very excellent, immediately achievable "goal." Do it. Then, realize that you did it and that it was good that you accomplished it. Do that, especially - Never ignore achieving something that is helpful and good for you to have achieved. You'll soon realize you're a much more productive young person than you may have though you were or could be. :)

There's info I'd need to suggest other things, but it's info I do not want you to talk about. IF you find that you're presented with unusual situations that others may not know nor deserve to know, you should talk to your parents. Take moment to do some exercises so you can think of exactly how you'd like to approach them, first. Relieve some of that anxiety and stress - It won't be as difficult as you think to do either. Your brother, perhaps, if he's older may be a sympathetic ear too. Friends? If you have friends that aren't exclusively online relationships, it might be helpful to talk to them too. They could be experiencing some of the same issues and, together, you could figure out a healthy and good solution.

Best wishes! You will overcome all of this. There is no doubt about that whatsoever. None.

PS: You and your dad, together, fixing that wall outlet might be a nice thing to do. If you think it'd be met with a positive reaction, why not suggest that you both do it and he can show you how its done?