Lol I sat on your house

"

crunkatog wrote:

The T-rex sat awkwardly upright on top of the tenement building, hind legs extended rigidly out like a tripod, so as to keep its massive weight from sagging sideways.

For it had sat upon the Petrovitsky building, whose concrete boiler chimney jutted 4m above the asphalt scoop of its roof. Thus impaled, leaning to the left, or to the right, or sagging forward, would mean snapping off the concrete and rebar structure in its vast colon. Or worse, tearing through the delicate membranes and embedding itself in the open spaces in its gut.

People streamed by, pointing up and laughing at the beleaguered theropod in her plight.

A man went to the drug store and bought a tube of Preparation H, a deluxe-sized tube with one of those plastic nozzles and dispenser setups you find in college dorms for hand soap or toothpaste. He tossed it up onto the roof six floors up. It landed on the tarpaper with a soft thunk, rolled slowly into the centre.

Came to rest just a few inches away from the T-rex's barrel chest.

Her vestigial forearms raked the asphalt up in disturbing black ribbons, tore at the air, all in futile rage. The tube lay just out of reach. It began to swell in the hot noonday sun, a bubble of cool aloe-infused salve drooling out from under the cap.

She roared with unbridled resentment. The man went inside.

"

now you have no house

rekt