help with "paladin" build

You can always link the totem with "Increased Area of Effect" skill gem.

Melee can be quite hard lategame, block is really nice to have and you will have to have either life leech or regen later (considering the wanted skill tree, leech is more suitable).
Yes some monsters do hit hard, i recommend using endurance charges (4 or 5 of them) to get your physical resistances up.

Afterall, you will see for yourself, tho id say melee as 1st char can be difficult.